Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
