Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
