i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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