I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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