I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
