is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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