marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
