You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
