My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
