I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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