You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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