is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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