I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
