omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
