butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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