I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
