Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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