He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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