Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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