As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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