I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
