People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
