I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
