VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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