The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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