i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
