Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
