We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
