Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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