My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
