piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
