I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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