OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dicks are not precious.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need to align my fucking chakras
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
