The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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