her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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