Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
