If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
