Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
