There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
