And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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