oh god the rape fog is back!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
