Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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