i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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