sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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