do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
