As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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