What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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