What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
