Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Im part way to drunk.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
