Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
